“I’m not a believer in predetermined fates, being rewarded for one’s efforts. I’m not a believer in karma. The reason why I try to be a good person is because I think it’s the right thing to do. If I commit fewer bad acts there will be fewer bad acts, maybe other people will join in committing fewer bad acts, and in time there will be fewer and fewer of them.”
― Daniel Handler

Leave the past behind and move on

This is a personal post so if you are looking for tips on how to leave the past behind and move on – not a post for you. Just a heads up.

Earlier today, I was pretending that I am being interviewed (because that’s just what I do when I am bored) and I asked myself what is one question that I hate being asked about, or one thing that I hate talking about the most.

And the answer came very quickly.

I hate talking about depression and anxiety.

The past 10 years of my life have been spent talking about those two topics and I am completely tired of them. Especially, when I get asked about my mother and how I was bullied in school. It can’t get any worse than that.

And I get told by so many people around me that I should write about it – even write a book – and talk about it often – maybe even in videos. To be honest, I would rather shoot myself in the head. I know they mean well and I absolutely see why they would suggest something like that, but I still cannot put myself together and start writing about it.

For the longest, I identified with who I used to be because it was easier that way. People knew me as this sad, depressed girl who lost her mother, wanted to kill herself and dropped out of school. For the longest, I pitied myself and pretended that that’s all I was. That that’s all I could ever be.

It’s much easier to be who people knew you to be, then to suddenly be who you are right now.

I mean, just a few days ago, I was visiting my aunt with my friend, and while we were sitting and drinking water, she talked and talked and talked about how we are all souls and everything happens for a reason and how god is watching over us. She knows that I am an Atheist but she still continues to tell me that I should trust in the power of love (aka god).

All of that because she claims she has evidence and when she says evidence she means faith. She has faith and she has feelings.

I used to be heavily indoctrinated by the New Age cult – which I am feeling pulled to write about in depth soon – and I never questioned anything. Me and my aunt would talk extensively about angels and god and the law of attraction, we could go for hours just talking about the supernatural.

So now that I am critical of her claims, I am not interesting anymore and I find myself quietly listening and nodding along rather than defend my position and question her about why she believes something that is built on personal experiences – which mean nothing when you know the basic psychology about how human mind works.

It’s the same with veganism. Although I may seem very strong in my belief and how I live my life, I am actually very submissive when it comes to interacting with those who know me for decades. I still play along and let them talk down to me because of how I eat and what I shop, simply because in the past that is what I would have done.

10 years ago, even five years ago, I would never dare to question what I was told and taught. I would never even dare to think about being a sceptic when it came to god, or to question whether or not going to the ZOO was morally acceptable.

I had morals; I just lacked the confidence to confess them out loud.

In the last few years, I have been tested quite a few times about where I stand and how much I trust myself. I was tested to see if I am able to leave the past behind and move on with the person I am today.

When you have been a certain way for many years and then suddenly you change, you finally see who is a keeper. Of course, people can leave because they do not agree with you anymore, that is normal and welcomed as I would do that too, but some will leave because they just don’t like that you are different.

People don’t like to see you explore the other side. People don’t like to see you question the beliefs you share.

But I find that to be the most interesting part of life.

I have always questioned things and remained open. Not as open minded that I would lose my brain, as James Oberg would say, but quite open-minded actually.

Another thing that I am learning about myself lately and finding the confidence to speak up about it is that I am finding myself having some conservative views on life. Not many, thank goodness, but some. And that is a challenge because the second you express on the internet that you share an opinion with Ben Shapiro, you are immediately unfollowed by 50 people and labelled a racist or a Nazi.

But people change.

The past is the past. I cannot remain identical to who I was when I was 10, 18, or 23. That would be a mental suicide. To not learn anything. To not question anything. To never rebel.

It’s not fair to keep quiet about my current self. It’s not fair to lead people on and not tell them that I don’t agree with them.


That was a little rant. A confession of some sorts.

Leave a comment below if you found anything useful.

If you have a minute or two, find me on Twitter and Instagram.


p.s. – If you want to know how to help animals in 12 different ways, read this post here.

Let’s talk about my love for the Food For Thought Podcast

My vegan journey began when I sat in front of a computer, creating an animal welfare presentation and were suddenly exposed to photographs where cows and pigs had their throats slit. Suddenly, I didn’t care about welfare anymore; I wanted to learn about the rights.

Although I am passionate about spreading the message of veganism with compassion and kindness, that’s not what made me go vegan. I needed Gary Yourofsky to scream at me through the computer screen, telling me that I was paying for murder and that I was responsible for baby chicks to be ground up alive.

It was true, I was paying for that and I was responsible, but strangely enough, that is not what helped me stay vegan. Not that I would go back to eating animals, but I was mentally tired from holding all the guilt on my shoulders and it was quite literally killing me.

It wasn’t until I stumbled upon the video of Colleen Patrick-Goudreau and watched her talk about veganism in the most beautiful way possible. She was radiating love and kindness. She became someone that I wanted to be like.

I started to watch her videos on YouTube and listen to the podcast episodes that I found on her YouTube channel. I was absorbing every single thing that she said. And naturally, I wanted more.

I wanted to know more about how I can be compassionate. I wanted to know more about how to talk to people who don’t understand why I don’t eat animals. I wanted to know how to become happy even after I knew the horrors that were occurring in the world.

That’s when I found her podcast Food For Thought.

I don’t think I truly had any idea about what a podcast was. I listened to different episodes on YouTube from Colleen and other vegans, but I never realized they were actual podcasts.

So I downloaded an app where I was able to listen to podcasts and the first show that I wanted to listen to was Food For Thought. I was downloading all the episodes that I could find, only to realize that there were probably hundreds of them and some were older than 10 years!

I was so happy.

Everything I did – cleaning, walking, working out – was while I was listening to Food For Thought Podcast. And not only once, but many, many times.

The things that I have learned from Colleen go deeper than just what to eat and what to wear. They helped me become the person I am today. Not as compassionate and kind as she is, but a much kinder person than I was when I went vegan.

  • Colleen taught me to look at people who are not vegan yet as those who are still sleeping. They are not evil and they do not lack compassion in general, they have just not woken up yet.
  • Colleen taught me that going vegan is not the end goal. Life is a journey and once you become vegan, you see other things that you want to do and accomplish, so veganism is not something that we reach and then we stop. Veganism is in many ways just a beginning because we now unlocked more compassion and see so much more things that we can improve.
  • Colleen taught me to be more open and understanding. If I wouldn’t open my heart and mind to her message, I would probably boycott all vegan companies that were bought by non-vegan companies. But instead, I now see the benefits of that.
  • Colleen taught me about going zero-waste. Well, she is still teaching me. I am on a journey to learning more and more about it and trying my best to reduce – yes, I am only reducing at the moment-, and to live as ethically and eco as I can, while still living with a family that doesn’t do that. It’s like going vegan all over again, but harder.

Another reason why I admire Colleen so much is that she represents the person that I wanted to grow into when I was younger. No kids, loving relationship, house in nature, surrounded by deer and cats, travelling and writing.

I want to leave a few of my favourite episodes here, in case you want to listen. And I do encourage you to listen. Colleen opens hearts and minds and unlocks the best that is in us.

Find her on her website, YouTube, Instagram and Twitter.

And please leave a comment below, if you are familiar with Colleen and if you are a listener of her podcast. Which episode is your favourite? What message most resonated with you so far? How many times have you cried while listening to her talk about the cruelty animals endure?

If you have a minute or two, find me on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest – I know, so many channels.


p.s. – If you want to know why buying second-hand rocks, read my post here.

p.p.s. – The images belong to Colleen.

Just a few of the best educational vegan books

Since I became a vegan three years ago, I have read a good amount of books so far on the topic of veganism and animal rights. But today I don’t only want to talk about books that I have read and liked, but about best educational vegan books of all times.

Some I have read, some I haven’t yet, but I looked at those who have great reviews and I chose the best books from authors that I trust and am familiar with.

I always talk about the importance of education before making any big changes in our lives, and going vegan is no exception.

If you are interested in becoming vegan or you simply want to expand your knowledge, I got your back.

Shall we start? Here are just a few of the best educational vegan books so far:

  1. The 30-Day Vegan Challenge: The Ultimate Guide to Eating Healthfully and Living Compassionately by Colleen Patrick-Goudreau.
  2. How Not to Die: Discover the Foods Scientifically Proven to Prevent and Reverse Disease by Dr Michael Greger.
  3. The China Study: Revised and Expanded Edition: The Most Comprehensive Study of Nutrition Ever Conducted and the Startling Implications for Diet, Weight Loss, and Long-Term Health by T. Colin Campbell and Thomas M. Campbell.
  4. The Cheese Trap: How Breaking a Surprising Addiction Will Help You Lose Weight, Gain Energy, and Get Healthy by Dr Neal D. Barnard.
  5. Proteinaholic: How Our Obsession with Meat Is Killing Us and What We Can Do About It by Dr Garth Davis.
  6. Why We Love Dogs, Eat Pigs, and Wear Cows: An Introduction to Carnism by Dr Melanie Joy.
  7. Eat Like You Care: An Examination of the Morality of Eating Animals by Gary L. Francione and Anna Charlton.
  8. Animal Liberation: The Definitive Classic of the Animal Movement by Peter Singer.
  9. Mercy For Animals: One Man’s Quest to Inspire Compassion and Improve the Lives of Farm Animals by Nathan Runkle.
  10. Slaughterhouse: The Shocking Story of Greed, Neglect, and Inhumane Treatment Inside the U.S. Meat Industry by Gail A. Eisnitz.
  11. Skinny Bitch: A No-Nonsense, Tough-Love Guide for Savvy Girls Who Want To Stop Eating Crap and Start Looking Fabulous by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin.
  12. The Kind Diet: A Simple Guide to Feeling Great, Losing Weight, and Saving the Planet by Alicia Silverstone.
  13. The Forks Over Knives Plan: How to Transition to the Life-Saving, Whole-Food, Plant-Based Diet by Alona Pulde and Matthew Lederman.

There you go. 13 titles that have gained recognition around the globe for being great vegan books and for educating the masses about how to eat and live compassionately.

I am positive that today, we have all the resources to learn about how to transition to a healthier lifestyle and with social media in our lives, we are always just a follow away from being inspired daily to take vegan steps towards a more compassionate way of living.

I would love to hear from you now. Which of these books have you heard of already? Would you add any that I forgot? Leave a comment below and share any book titles that inspired you to go vegan.

Please, if you have a minute or two, find me on YouTube, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest.


p.s. – If you want to know my recommendations on which YouTube vegans you should watch, read this post here.