Daily Archives: 11/10/2017

2 posts

Mind detox + how social media controls us

mind detox

In late July I was given a challenge to detox my mind for 12 days by not reading, listening to music/podcasts, writing, watching movies/shows/videos and checking social media; basically to spend 12 days without anyone telling me what to do in any form.

I did that.

I hated it.

I loved it.

If you know a bit about me, you know that we don’t own a TV at home, so I have been TV free for like 6 years or something and I kind of went through a mind detox back then, but that was much different. Social media is awfully clever. Well, people that run them and people who post on them are awfully clever.

They know how to sell, what to sell, when to sell, why to sell; they know how to sell that what they want you to do is needed and it is needed to be done by you. They are very good at it.

But more than people who professionally sell you ideas, social media manages to bring the worst out of people. You don’t know how weak you are at controlling your mind until you go on Facebook and find yourself stalking an old friend who did you wrong. That’s when you know you really hit that low point and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Every day we watch people live their lives presented through the camera lenses in the form of photos and videos. They pick the best moments – like we all do, let’s not pretend we are any different – and feed us with them. We are craving new content from them to chew on. To taste that happy perfect life they present. And it doesn’t even matter if they are honest about not having the life they present on their social media, we still want it. We must have it!

So what do we do?

We follow people that we like and want to be like. We watch videos with content that is far too superficial to be even seen as educational, yet we consume it like we have never eaten before. We let celebrities – whom we admire – influence our taste in music, politics, food, clothes, beauty, relationships etc.

If my favourite actor does that, I must do it too. He is influential, he is powerful, and he is more than I am.

Bullshit.

They are all just people who share their views and opinions. But we – the weak followers of the leaders in the shadow – we trust them and want to be like them, mainly because through that same source of evil – meaning social media – we are taught that our lives suck and we should be miserable.

We are brainwashed into behaving like victims.

I don’t blame celebrities. They are just humans. They are the same as you are with the exception of fame and a bigger pay check. But they are humans too. You just forget that.

During those 12 days I heard myself again. I heard my voice. I think I forgot how it sounded like.

When I had no one else to tell me what I should do and what I should think, I could see the world for myself again. I could experience life on my own terms, without anyone telling me in advance what is supposed to happen.

Did I miss those voices? Sure.

Did I get my dose of social media afterwards? Sure.

Did I lose my voice again? No.

I still get influenced by those other voices, but I am much more careful with accepting them. I filter the heck out of everything I hear. That doesn’t mean that I am living in the forest or that I think social media is the devil, not at all, but I know the difference between my voice and the voice of those who are unintentionally harming me with their ideas.

I challenge you to go through a 12 day detox.

I dare you.

But before you go, keep in mind that social media makes it easier to meet people that you can form beautiful friendships with, so find me on Twitter and Instagram.

Tanja

p.s. – If you need any ideas on how to take better care of yourself, I wrote a post a while ago with a few self care ideas. You can read it right here.

Compassion towards all but mostly towards self

compassion towards all

Poor little animals we are. Needed of love and care and protection yet we give nothing of that to ourselves. It’s all about constant judgment and hate that is keeping us miserable and alone. How much do we have to endure before opening our arms to embrace ourselves as well?

It can be very scary to live in our bodies and having to deal with thoughts that we cannot control. It can be scary to look in the mirror and not be sure about the truth of who we are. It’s scary to deal with the thoughts of self destruction.

How often do we show compassion towards ourselves? How often do we protest for our rights and for our justice? How often do we give love to ourselves?

The need to protect others is normal and quite natural to us, but the strength to speak up will run out of gas at one point. You need to go solar instead. Look within and find that light that will guide you at all times and never ran out of oil.

And before I go further with my go solar with self explanation, let me just say that I know that’s not quite how electric cars work. But for the purpose of this analogy, let’s overlook the minor mistakes.

See, when you show compassion and love towards yourself every few days, you will be slowly running out of it every day. Each day you will be emptier and slower. You will need that quick fix that will last for a few days, depending of course on how much you do each day and how much you give when pushing your body.

With solar, you always have sun on you. You always have light and energy that keeps you going. Going solar with yourself means being in the state of self compassion every second of the day. No quick fixes, no sudden heights, just a steady road on the clouds of love and care.

We constantly push ourselves over our limits.

We constantly punish ourselves for indulging in something that makes us feel good.

We are taught to work hard for a little bit of joy. To push ourselves and keep on going until you reach that point of relief and peace, only to go back and repeat the cycle. It happens with work (work hard to achieve success, then work even harder to obtain it and reach those little milestones), food (starve and workout hard to eat that piece of cake at the end of the week), sex (you know how that works so let’s skip that), relationships (learn how to handle the physical and emotional abuse to enjoy those little moments of love and connection) etc.

No one tells us that it’s okay to take care of ourselves every minute and that it’s okay to always work from yourself not outside of yourself. To always give when you are full, not to empty yourself but to share what is left. Only when you have enough, you can give.

Leave what is not serving you. Let go of what doesn’t fill you up anymore.

Stop settling for sunrays when you can be the damn sun.

Acknowledge yourself and how you feel. Acknowledge what you want and what is not a good fit anymore. Don’t wait for those occasional moments of peace when peace is available to you at all times.

Have you thought about going to nature and talking to her? Mother trees are pretty good at giving advice you know, and you can get some witty response from the babies as well. That’s your home, so go home and talk to your parents. They’re pretty good at listening.

As always, to keep up with what I do, find me on Twitter and Instagram.

Tanja