when someone hurts you

We’ve all been hurt before.

We opened our heart and loved someone who seemed worthy, only to eventually get to the point where breaking up is inevitable.

If there is one thing I know for a fact, is that we all survive breakups of all kinds. Whether you broke up with a friend or a lover, you can get through the pain.

But it takes time to heal the wounds. It takes time to move on and find peace in not having them in your life.

Today I want to share with you 3 things to remember when someone hurts you. 

  • Clean your side of the street first.

It’s easy to blame the other person for being the one who started the fire, but it takes two to tango. Yes, sometimes you are only a victim, but how often is that really? The best thing you can do to start the process of moving on is to look at what you did wrong and get a wider perspective on what caused the rupture.

  • Remember that karma is not real, but life is.

With that I mean, don’t pray for something bad to happen to them, because it’s a given. Not everyone who does bad will experience bad in return. But if someone doesn’t value people, manipulates them from the start and has the tendency to lie, they won’t get much out of life anyway. Either they will get a dose of their own medicine at one point in their life, or they are so rotten that you can’t help but pity them. Usually, I find that people who did me wrong are trapped in unhappy relationships themselves and have no self-respect. 

  • Remind yourself that what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.

As I said, breakups hurt and feel awful but they are an excellent teacher. Once you take responsibility for what you did wrong, you can find strength in knowing that the wounds you’ve received will make for beautiful battle scars in the future. As time will pass, you will look at them and be empowered by the sight. You love and you lose and you learn, and then you continue living. 

To not victimise ourselves too much, though, it’s worth remembering that someone else might feel the same way about us.

How often do we think of ourselves as the perpetrator? How often do you think of the people who might have a bitter taste in their mouth when your name comes up?

Breakups are a natural part of our lives and when someone hurts you it is just a reminder that you are experiencing something natural.

We are constantly outgrowing each other so we are bound to walk away from some humans eventually. These three tips are just tools to have when the breakup feels a bit nasty and not so painless.

Also, mindfulness is always a good trait to have. I wrote about why a meditation practise is a must in this post here.

You got this. If you don’t suffer you haven’t loved. Since we cannot control who we fall in love with (either romantically or platonically) we might as well get good at handling breakups, right?

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Tanja

when someone hurts you