All of us have experienced a heartbreak sometime in our lives; whether it was a crush that never asked us out or a friend that suddenly started ignoring us and never explained why the change of heart.
Life is about being disappointed and learning the lessons that come with those experiences.
Having a broken heart is not a bad thing nor is it something to be afraid of. It’s a sign of having an open heart and being open to love and compassion. Getting a broken heart is a result of daring to be a good human being.
Like all of you I too have experienced many heartbreaks, perhaps more than I dare to admit to myself, so today I want to give you my tips on how to deal with a heartbreak. Some may be more serious while others will be silly, but I find that all of them helped me at some point in the healing stage.
Here are 14 tips on how to deal with a heartbreak:
- Acknowledge that it hurts. Admit that you feel broken and that you are in pain. We often prefer to ignore how we feel and pretend that it doesn’t hurt but that way we are only running from healing ou heart. The thing is that you can’t heal what you don’t face.
- Immediately delete all signs of their presence in your life. That means deleting their phone number, unfollowing them on all social media, and deleting every single conversation you had with them through the phone or email. That way you avoid going back and analyzing what you’ve done wrong and feeling angry at things that you said.
- Do not interact with them if they show any signs of wanting to get close to you again. Of course, some people deserve a second chance but if that is the case you will know when to ignore this tip.
- Find a new hobby or start taking classes. Do what you have to do to keep busy and take your mind off of them. The busier your mind gets the less time it will have to think about what happened and drag you back to feeling sad.
- Get super honest about your part in the breakup. What did you do to mess things up? Most of the time both parties did something wrong so be honest about what you did and then learn from it.
- Do not avoid them but also don’t intentionally go to places where they hang out at. If you are lucky, you live far away but sometimes we go to a city where they live and somehow find ourselves going to places where they usually hang out. Let’s avoid doing that, okay?
- Stop listening to songs that remind you of them. I, for example, can not listen to Bryan Adams’s Please Forgive Me without thinking of someone who loved to listen to this song when he was depressed.
- Food won’t make you feel better so stop eating sugar and get healthier now that you are turning a new leaf.
- Instead of going over what you should have said, write it down and be done with it. It’s over, what’s done is done. You did what you knew best at that moment and you acted the way you thought was most appropriate. There is absolutely nothing good about thinking of the past when you can learn from it and move on.
- Look out for the lessons. How can you grow and develop further because of what happened?
- Meditate. To hear more from me about why meditation is the best thing to have happen to humanity read this post that I wrote.
- Journal and drop the nasty thoughts on the piece of paper. Write all the ugly thoughts you have, let out all the anger, and then get up and let the paper rot while you have an emptier mind.
- Don’t plan any revenge because it won’t make the situation better.
- Realize that rotten people and families exist and that sometimes the nicest people can turn the ugliest but it has nothing to do with how people are in general. Have faith that a few bad apples don’t represent the entire apple tree.
I wrote about dealing with a heartbreak more in-depth in my free eBook From Feeling Low to Living Green which you can download here.
Attachment is suffering yet without it we cannot survive. We all attach ourselves to something or someone and eventually we all get hurt but I, personally, wouldn’t want to have it any other way.
I have learnt how to become kinder by being treated unkindly, I have learnt how to be more understanding by being misunderstood, and I have learnt how to give second chances to people by being denied a second chance myself.
If it seems like the end of the world when you get your heart broken it’s because it is the end of the world. It’s the end of your current world but tomorrow you will be living in another one. We enter into another universe every time we get hurt.
Let me know in the comment section your story of dealing with a heartbreak and which of these tips you found to be useful before.
I would also love to see you follow me on Instagram where I share helpful tips and recommend books that I love.