Borderline Personality Disorder is a bitch.
It makes you act in ways that are hurtful, inappropriate and sometimes insane. But there are ways to not do that. There is another option you can choose – to be kind, compassionate and stable.
Now, it won’t be easy or simple. It will be worth it, though, especially if you commit to it.
While I am still in recovery from BPD, I have learnt some ways to minimize the pain and suffering caused by the illness.
I got diagnosed in 2019, and ever since, I have been working on myself. Constantly pushing myself forward, towards the light. Constantly trying to upgrade who I am and who I want to be.
It is not easy but I enjoy every second of it (well, almost every second). Especially because when I feel better, I do better, and I attract better people into my life.
Here are my best tips for people with BPD:
- Commit to recovery.
Many people with BPD want to get better but don’t commit to it. They kind of work on themselves but never really put much passion into it.
Be different and commit to recovery, because the second you do that, you already made three steps forward. The second you decide you will get better, something inside your brain decides that this is true now.
Commitment motivates you to start moving forward.
- Admit that you are the problem.
Sometimes you are the problem, this is just something you have to accept and admit. I know it is difficult, but the sooner you acknowledge it, the sooner you can fix it.Â
Where in your life (and relationships) are you holding yourself back? How are you the problem? Really think about your answers because the more honest you are, the more progress you will make.
And remember that being honest with yourself is the beginning of recovery.
- Find your tribe.
Whether it is online or in person, everyone needs to find a tribe of people with whom they can connect.
Reach out to someone (even me, here is my Instagram), DM them, comment under their post, ask them for a coffee, attend an event, volunteer etc. There are so many options to choose from to find your own group of people with BPD.
They know what you are going through. They’ve been there, or still are, so you won’t feel alone anymore.
- Listen to your intuition.
You already know what you need to feel better. The answers are within you, but you need to pay attention to the signs.
That is why it is so important to take time every day to sit down, focus on your breath and listen. Being mindful helps you tune in to your intuition and know what the next step is.
- Continue your education.
I love learning about how to be better more than anything in this world. I love workbooks, podcasts, books, videos… everything that helps me improve.
I encourage you to continue your education. Continue learning, growing and most importantly, becoming the best version of yourself possible.
One of my favourite ways to continue my education is by listening to the Back From The Borderline podcast (Just a note to say that Mollie seems to be anti-psychiatry and anti-medicine currently which is something I strongly disagree with.) and going through DBT workbooks. Every time I do an exercise and listen to a new episode, I am becoming mentally more stable and healthier.
Just try them out. No rush.Â
People with BPD know how it feels to be in a chaotic state of mind, but I want us to know how it feels to be calm as well.
As I said, I am still in recovery and I don’t have all the answers, but I do know how to make progress. And progress is all that matters at the end of the day.
You got this. You always have.
If you feel called to support my work, consider buying me a cup of cappuccino. It helps me greatly.
Tanja
