I used to social media stalk my former schoolmates. Who hasn’t, right? But the thing is, I was comparing myself to them all the time.
Many of them have children and families and live in houses. They have actual careers. I don’t.
I never wanted kids and I live in an apartment that is falling apart. My career is nonexistent. Plus, I struggle with a mental illness and am still working towards making my blog my main source of income. This is my reality.Â
So seeing people I used to know succeed, hurt. It made me feel like a failure.Â
And then I stepped back. I took a deep breath. I calmed down.Â
It wasn’t easy, but I made a huge leap forward. You see, I stopped comparing myself to others because I finally realized that my journey is unique. I’m the only one walking in my shoes.Â
30 is a relatively young age, and I still have my entire life in front of me. It is extremely painful to think back and see how I treated myself because society tells me at 30 I should have it all figured out. And I believed them.Â
Now, I am almost on the other side.Â
I strive for things not because I compare myself to what others have, but because I want it for myself. I’m eager to achieve for myself and on my terms.Â
What do I like? What do I truly desire? What do I want? What do I want?
If you are like me, please, stop comparing yourself to others. Stop giving people power over you. Simply put, you are the only one who can live your life so why compare to someone else?
How stupid is it to look at someone who has a child, and think you are falling behind them when you don’t want to be a parent yourself? Or how about wanting to be a freelancer but comparing yourself to someone who works corporate?
This is insane.
Yet that’s what we do all the time. We look at someone we perceive as more successful and think we have to measure our lives against theirs.Â
Why?
Our path is unique and specifically meant for us. At the end of the day, when we are on our deathbeds, we won’t care if Sara had two babies at 25 or how many millions Nik earned in his thirties.Â
What we will care about is how happy we were with our lives, how many people we loved, and how many sunrises we woke up to watch. That is what will truly matter.Â
I encourage you to count the beautiful moments in your life.
Count the number of people who love you.
Count your blessings.Â
Tanja
