There is a scene in Fleabag, where Fleabag tells the hot priest that she wishes someone told her what to do.
She said she wishes someone had told her what to wear, what to eat, basically, how to live her life. While I related to this statement for many reasons when I first heard it, I think you don’t have to be mentally ill to wish that someone took your hand and told you what path to take.
Decision-making is not my favourite life task, because I am rarely sure that’s what I want. Veganism was different. The second I saw a photo of a cow, hanging upside down with her throat slashed, bleeding into a bucket, I knew this was it. No pondering if it’s for me, or thinking if I’m making the right choice.
That didn’t take away the challenges of the first months and the first few years. I’ve said many times that my journey has been my favourite one I’ve ever taken, and it’s true that I didn’t struggle in ways many people do, but it wasn’t smooth.
Maybe because I was lucky, or because it was the easiest decision I ever made. Maybe a mix of both, but it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that I learned a lot about that initial phase, and I want to share the lessons with you.
Perhaps it will be one of those things that makes your journey as exciting as mine was. If I can play a teeny-tiny part in making it happen, I want to. At the end of the day, we have to stick together and uplift each other, because we all want the same thing.
So here is what I wish I knew, and what you might need to hear today:
- Enjoy the chaos because it won’t last forever.
Right now, everything feels new and exciting because you have so much left to discover and explore. You are Alice, wandering around this magical place with no idea where it leads, but you know you want to keep going. Okay, I don’t know if that is what happened in Alice in Wonderland, as it always creeped me out, so I never read the entire thing, but that’s what I imagine.
The point is, there will come a time when you will have figured it out. You will know what to eat and how much, the pantry and fridge will always be packed with the most nutritious and colourful foods, and you will find ethical ways of entertainment that don’t include imprisoned individuals.
There is time for good chaos, and there is time for good steadiness.
- Decide what type of vegan you want to be.
If this sounds serious, don’t panic. It just means you know what type of lifestyle you want to live, and how you will achieve that.
For example, me, I always knew I wanted to be an advocate and teach people how to go vegan without going insane. This is different from someone who is on the go and constantly on their feet, who may want to learn how to stay practical, or an athlete who wants to know how veganism can fit into their gym life.
You had a life before veganism, and you want to make your existing life more ethical, not force it or live someone else’s reality. It’s a philosophy that simply requires us to avoid the exploitation of non-human animals. It’s not a religion or a cult that wants to clear your mind of everything you know and make you a devoted follower.
- Find a way to put anger and depression to work.
Feeling angry at the state of the world you just became aware of means that you are probably feeling like you want to burn it all down. I know I felt this way for a long time before I was able to transform rage into activism.
What you decide to do is ultimately up to you, but I recommend it’s something you can do wholeheartedly. I’ve been writing since childhood, so going online and starting a blog was an extension of myself. I know someone in my family who was a businesswoman, and she decided that she wanted to run a vegan business and now produces and sells vegan desserts, spreads and sauces.
Of course, we still feel deep anger at times, but we have found a way to pour it into something that helps other animals. Anger alone is toxic, but when you mix it with your talents and passions, you can create magic that will transform lives.
- Put yourself first, as you can’t help anyone if you’re dead.
I like to write the “dead” part because I’ve been suicidal for a large part of my vegan journey. Not because of veganism, but it certainly didn’t help, haha. So I like to say that if you are dead, there is one less vegan in the world fighting for animal rights.
Mathematically, we just cannot afford to lose vegans. When I encourage you to put yourself first, I mean you should value your wellbeing and health (mental and physical) above all else. When you’re feeling great, energetic and sane, you can go out there and save lives.
Honestly, how much can you actually do regarding anything worthwhile if you are struggling? I know I barely had the will to spend time with my loved ones, so I had to change something if I wanted to serve other animals.
No matter how far along on the “vegan path” you are, you can make small changes to make it sustainable and beautiful.
Of course, you can always make changes, but how you start any journey usually, though not always, dictates how it will look later on. If you begin with a calm and positive attitude, you have a higher chance of feeling this way ten years down the road.
Personally, I wouldn’t change my first two years. They reflect who I am now, and they were filled with some of the most life-changing moments. From becoming aware of what climate change was and why environmentalism was another passion of mine, to learning what happens in the fast fashion industry and how minimalism can help.
My eyes opened to many issues, and being a slightly obsessed vegan was something I had to go through. However, many things became obvious only years later, and they can be of help to you.
Take what works, and leave the rest for others.
Tanja
